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Aug. 18th, 2010


The M. Night Shyamalan Scorecard

1. Sixth Sense = Awesome.
2. Signs = Retarded.
3. Unbreakable = Awesome.
4. The Village = Awesome until the last 20 minutes when it became unbearably retarded.
5. The Happening = ...mehtarded.
6. The Lady in the Water = Awesome as all hell.
7. The Last Airbender = Haven't seen it, but I heard it was bad. I'm sure that means it will be great for kids and not for jaded adults.

First things first. I think there should be a new law where if people who are incapable at spelling or saying "M. Night Shyamalan" say "M. Night Shamalamadingdong" you have the god given right to punch them in the face. That's offensive. That's like calling everyone from Asia "Peter Ching-Chong" or "Lucy Panda Express". Evolve god damnit, or society will force you to do so at bootpoint.

I present to you number 8. "Devil".

Now here's my preemptive "fuck you" to M. Night Shyamalan:

M. Let's talk, buddy. Let's go over your filmography and take a look at a list of completely awesome stories. However, some of these completely awesome stories have been ruined by a need to have a "twist ending". I get it. That's what the Twilight Zone did and it changes the story. Hell...the fact that people keep talking about the twist ending is part of the juice right? However, like "The Village", you cannot change the entire genre of the movie at the end. To hells with that.

Now, you have a movie that looks like a whole bunch of Exorcist crazy bullshit is happening in an elevator full of people that can't get out. Conceptually, I find this concept to be downright terrifying. Personally I believe that most Christian mythology is chock full of bullshit designed to keep people in line during the dark ages, but if I were trapped in an elevator and then all of the sudden the fucking DEVIL turned out to be real and I was trapped in an elevator with someone posessed by him...well let's just say that should would definitely ruin my day and alter my perceptions for life. That's what I like in a horror movie. When I'm in the horror movie...I like to feel that cold chill on my spine.

So I'm going to see this one, M. Night Shyamalan.


If this movie turns out to be that it's actually an angry angel posessing a bad person to try to get some kind of message out about how we have to save the environment...
If this movie turns out to be that everyone's hallucinating because chemicals from a McDonald's cheeseburger is turning them against eachother...
If this movie turns out to be all just a dream created by a 7 year old autistic boy...
If this movie turns out to be something other than a horror movie involving a bunch of people trapped in an elevator with either a serial killer or something supernatural...

...I will start a movement to end your film making empire. I will protest your movies. I will write letters. I will start an internet campaign.

Your movie trailers get me excited, but sometimes feel like it's Christmas and I've been pumped up that I'm going to receive a Red Rider BB Gun and then when I open the box it's nothing but a box of boners.

I already go through this with George Lucas movies. I don't need this from you too.

Aug. 16th, 2010

Captain America

Movie Review of "Kick Ass"

...and thusly after spending 165 dollars on two tires for my car it was evident that I shouldn't buy a 20 dollar copy of Kick Ass. So...I rented it.

Fuck. I'm a Mark Millar (the creator of Kick-Ass the comic book and the movie's producer) fan and I'm not sure whether or not I liked it.

Like all things, decide for yourself, but the movie was like the book "Great Expectations": It wasn't all that I was hoping for. I've been reading Mark Millar for a while now and there's a certain vibe and energy I've come to associate with his work. While the movie does definitely pick up on the vibe, I guess the question you have to ask about yourself is: "What are you expecting from the movie".

There are some definite funny scenes to the movie, and one would expect with "McLovin" in the movie and some seriously classic Nicholas Cage oddity that the movie would be listed as a comedy. It is not. It's more of a black comedy. There's a dark humor to it that comes alongside an action and "coming of age" story element. The villains and characters are a little corny, but at the same time they're not intended to be "comic book movie" style Dr. Dooms and Thors.

I think I'm not explaining myself very well. Allow me to try again.

Now that my brain is more wrapping around it, "Kick Ass" the movie is not exactly a superhero story. I truly believe that somewhere deep inside, Mark Millar is a member of the Fight Club belief system just like I am. In the "Wanted" comic books, the character focuses on just how much he's getting fucked by everyone around him, and how this makes him an asshole like the rest of us. By the end of the comic he's killed hundreds of people and is the most dangerous assassin in the world. In the final pages of the comic, he points out how buying the comic book may very well mean that you're just as jaded and stupid as he was at the beginning of the story, drowning yourself in dreams that you don't intend to follow while everyone fucks you.

Kick Ass, is not so much a super hero movie as it is a black comedy that focuses on the dreams of losers trying to become something bigger than what they are. We get our asses kicked. However, if we dare to hang on to getting our ass kicked for just long enough we will become stronger and just might learn a thing or two about ourselves. Sometimes this means that we have to wear a face and sometimes this mean we might find ourselves looking like a total fool. Sometimes this means that we'll get in over our heads.

In the movie, Kick-Ass the superhero spends most of his time getting his ass kicked until he gets wrapped up in a superhero/mafia war that starts to result in the body counts of many. His main allies are a father/daughter team of psychopaths that are on a mission of revenge. Being a teenager who's never even seen a dead body he's clearly in over his head.

IF this movie was intended to be a laugh-fest...then it fails. However, I don't think that it was intended to be a funny movie. I believe that it was intended to be satire. If you do watch the movie, wait until the end of the movie and then think back to the very first scene in the movie with the flying superhero. I think that this is the soul of what Mark Millar is trying to say as a writer.

Please let me know if you liked it. If you're not familiar with Mark Millar's work, I suggest picking up a copy of "Wanted" on DVD, or better yet, "Wanted" the graphic novel. I see a lot of "Fight Club" and "Trainspotting" influence in his work, which typically focuses on a main character's coming out of his shell for the better or worse. If anything, his scenes where characters simply get fed up and decide to stand their ground against their "El Guapos" (Three Amigos reference) are so much fun to read.

I think I liked it now. Thank you Mark Millar.
Green Daffy

Pre-work short windedness

1. Boobs kick ass.

2. I have one hand in my pocket, and the other is teaching sign language to gorillas.
(Amy loves Apples. Amy Pretty. Congo reference for the win).

3. I typed kick ass, which now reminds me that I need to get my dvd copy of "Kick Ass"

Aug. 15th, 2010


Eracism and the plight of the black man.

I suppose I should disclaim before I write this. This is not a judgement on some friends of mine, but merely a theory that they have. To put it more plainly, I can disagree with my friends without writing to say things like "Hey, you're a fucking idiot". That's not what this is in any means. I love my friends dearly, but sometimes I highly disagree with things that many people believe in.

((Prepare for a cut!))

Recently it was brought up during a conversation that most white people are subliminally racist and unknowingly are faced with a fringe benefit in America known as "White Privilege". For more reading, consult this weblink:

In critical race theory, white privilege is a way of conceptualizing racial inequalities that focuses as much on the advantages that white people accrue from society as on the disadvantages that people of color experience. Most such theories focus on American and European societal condition, since inequality between whites and non-whites is a long-standing feature of these academic areas. White privilege differs from conditions of overt racism or prejudice, in which a dominant group actively seeks to oppress or suppress other racial groups for its own advantage. Instead, theories of white privilege suggest that whites view their social, cultural, and economic experiences as a norm that everyone should experience, rather than as an advantaged position that must be maintained at the expense of others.

Sometimes I'm faced with a topic of discussion in which I know that there will be no happy medium. It's apparent to me, much like this conversation was, that the people involved had such a belief in this theory that I had little room to speak. It was when I explained that the actions of other people who have a white bias are not on me, and I have never knowingly taken benefit for the sole purpose of my skin color is a "typical white privilege response". Therefore I walked away from the conversation. However, as the weekend progressed I decided I should let out my feelings on the issue here, in a place where people cannot strangle eachother and I feel that I can let my windbag of a mouth get it all out.

Jim Crow vs. Doctor Doom.Collapse )

Aug. 13th, 2010


Everything's going to be fine.

...Everything's going to be fine because I have one hand in my pocket, and the other is punching a hobo.

Thank you, Alanis. I have a new catch phrase for everything.

Aug. 12th, 2010

Pooly D

Short Windedness

I am off of work tomorrow and am considering going to see "The Expendables". I have other things to do tomorrow (such as make preparations for a Star Wars RPG that I'm running), so I would like to do this at some sort of midday time.

Anyone in?

Aug. 11th, 2010

Burning Monk

Long Windedness.

I need to blog more. It puts me in the frame of mind to get writing done, which is something that I've been telling myself to do for years. I have good ideas and I cannot write them if I spend all of my time on the PC looking up inconsequential things.

Having said that, I am interested in reading more livejournal posts. I love my friends but I have a feeling that most of my friends are inactive, which leaves a grand total of maybe 7 people that regularly post. If you have any suggestions of friends of mine that I may not have on my friends list, or any other really good journals, please comment or message them to me. I'd really like to read more.

Aside from playing around with making a character for "Mutants and Masterminds" I've done very little tonight, however in the last few minutes (perhaps 30) I've taken a moment to check my email and find the end result of my "Change" chain email war.

Allow me to explain (I've decided to keep this blog short as a means to train myself to be short winded) ((...I could have just left it at "Allow me to explain)).

....fuck. "I should have just left it at allow me to explain" was long winded and I should have deleted it.


A family member recently sent me and her entire address book a chain email that basically pits modern day Mexican citizens vs. Ellis Island immigrants. Long story short (Short winded attempt in 3..2..) is that it says the Ellis Island immigrants wanted to be American and that the Mexicans are rude, antipatriotic assholes.

(Another short winded attempt in 3...2..) So I basically sent them 2 days worth of emails citing the inscription on the Statue of Liberty, The Civil Rights Act of 1866, and told them that they should be ashamed of themselves to claiming to have Christian values while they're so eagerly disregarding the lives of other human beings for the sake of politics. One of my responses is in an earlier post.

So, the contemplative sort that I am started thinking about what motivated me to risk alienating family members for what I felt was a good cause. (Yes, people, while I'm making dick and fart jokes I'm secretly on the inside constantly calculating and contemplating my existence. It may not seem so...but the side of me that I rarely bring out is one deep bastard that feels that he cannot connect to most of the human race.) The reason why I did it was simply that I've come to realize that the concept of "polite company does not discuss these things" has led a certain amount of the population to believe that you should not discuss politics and religion with friends. This has led a splinter faction of our society to bully others with their religious/political beliefs and accept people shying away from the conversations as some form of victory.

My final response to them last night came after one of the people on the email list stated that a "War is coming" and the war would be the result of people fighting to save the American way of life. He stated that this country should only include people that want to be American, and that the Mexican immigrants are a danger to this. My reply is behind the cut. It's mostly Adolf Hitler quotes and a few "PS" entries from my reply.

Bunch of Crap Behind the Curtain!Collapse )

So my summary is this: I've given a lot of thought in this life as to why I'm here, and if there's any divine purpose to existence as a whole. As a human being I find the entirety of my existence and the existence of existence itself to be wholly illogical and pointless. This leads me to feel that there's a point to existence and that the search to find answers on whether or not there is a divine creator is a complete waste of time. Since our lives and existences don't make any sense and the universe itself is near infinitely large and strange...I'm willing to believe that there's a bigger meaning to this life of mine. However, I think the "search for god" question has a very simple answer: The system, if any is designed in one of two ways. There is either no bigger picture and my death will come as a complete cessation of my existence. If this is the case, I won't have the ability of thought to mourn my loss of life. Insert "Pac Man dies music" and get over it. However, if there is a larger, more divine picture...the story isn't going to reveal the ending to me until the chapter that happens after I die. So fuck it. Why bother trying to sell people real estate in heaven when all I have are a handful of theoretical books by equally mortal assholes to guide me?

This is my life. This is my existence. This is my mystery to explore. No one else's. God, if it exists, is not ours to create. I am alone and I am comfortable with that. I cannot own God and tell myself stories that make me less afraid of the fact that someday I am going to experience myself dying, and that there's a possibility that it's going to lead to nothing but emptiness and nonexistence.

Moving forward, I find that I'm tired of watching people not practice the values that they claim to have. In my previous entry, I attacked my cousin Matt for being a fundamentalist Christian but taking the "illegal is illegal" standpoint, which is a rather non-Christian angle in my opinion. I'm tired of seeing people believe that being a member of a religion, club, philosophical practice, college, business, secret society, MMA training gym, weight loss group, or internet message board actually makes them better people. We all die alone. We shouldn't need ethical support groups to provide us with the strength to do something that we should be fully capable of doing alone without any encouragement.

We all feel morality. Morality is simple. When you have to harden your conscience and hide behind the tenets of your beliefs to make you feel better for a course (or lack of) action, then you are not being moral. We all feel bad seeing things in pain and seeing them die. We are all afraid of death, and we are all capable of looking at someone or something suffering and feeling that pain in our guts that makes us thankful that we are not experiencing such pains. If we allow ourselves to become desensitized to other peoples' pain, then we make it easier to accept others' suffering. I chose to not be polite company in these chain emails. I told them that I loved them and then I told them that they were ethically and politically wrong. I didn't do this because I wanted to feel right, or that I wanted to feel some sort of internal self assurance that I'm a more moral or loving person that they are. In fact, after I'd done it I felt nothing but tired and lonely. No one wins.

I hate the way that people treat eachother. Sometimes I think I know exactly how that Buddhist monk felt before lighting himself on fire to protest the Vietnam war.

The end of this story involves a final email I received as a response. As I think about it, writing in this blog now, I'm feeling an approaching feeling of negative emptiness. The reply stated the following:

Delete me from your address book. I have no intent on partaking
of your stupid shouting match.
        None of youm people know what you are talking about.
        We who are doing something about it resent you unknowing
opinions. was then that I realized that I may have done nothing more than empower some of them in the opposite direction than what I was trying to make them see. In three long emails citing quotes and references to the Civil Rights Act of 1866, Mein Kampf, Emma Lazarus, the dangers of Nationalism, and Christian values that I may have achieved nothing more than providing them with an email to skim over reading "blah blah blah liberal asshole trying to tell me that I'm a bad person". That, perhaps in my own way, I was conducting warfare too.

I should have just lit myself on fire.


Aug. 10th, 2010

Green Daffy

A recent response to the "CHANGE" chain email

I recently responded to a chain email called "CHANGE" that infers that Mexican immigrants are not as worthy to be American as 1910's immigrants because the former wanted to be "Americans". In the response, I kinda slam my cousin Matt, who's the type that does "Bible Passage of the Day" on his facebook.


Thank you, Matt. I love you, cousin, but the "illegal means illegal" route doesn't hold account for the numbers that come over due to the terrifying conditions in Mexico. I've come to know that you've got very strong Christian opinions. I'm surprised to learn that such a staunch supporter of a messiah of peace and love is taking the viewpoint that our "too government is too pc so we need to send illegal immigrants back across the border to a country that's dangerous because well...illegal is illegal." That's a very cold opinion to have when this topic involves peoples' lives. WWJD?
1. Please stop playing partisan/racism politics because someone feels that this measure is racist. It's a recorded fact that Russell Pearce who was the driving force behind SB1070 in Arizona has Neo Nazi ties. While the bill by nature is not racist, there -are- racists who have pushed it forward as a side agenda. Here in Arizona we have had Neo-Nazis with assault rifles standing on street corners downtown to show their support for the policy. I simply think that it's a strange moment when good people find themselves on the same side of the fence with Neo-Nazis with assault rifles. I agree that our immigration system needs to be reformed, but the fact that it's gotten to "assault rifle nazi" levels makes me feel that this issue should slow down a bit before someone gets hurt.
2. I don't wish to be rude, but to state that Jennifer's "race card" play is old and tireless doesn't account for the fact that no one has disagreed with me so far on the issues of Civil Rights, the dangerous conditions in Mexico, and the fact that not a single person attached to this chain email has claimed to actually been harmed by an illegal immigrant.
3. It is not against the law to work and send money to family members that you love, even if they live in another country. Everyone that sends money to Mexico via "Western Union" is a tax payer.
I love everyone in this world equally, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other nonviolent factor. All that I'm trying to point out is that this "change" chain letter is designed to desensitize people into seeing undocumented immigrants only as rude, disrespectful, criminal, and hate filled people. You owe it to yourselves to not become angry, hate filled people in return. This issue isn't as simple as "illegal means illegal".
There -are- undocumented immigrants that want to be American and love America. There -are- children that have been trekked across the 110 degree desert because of dangers by parents that wanted them to be born/raised in a country where they have a chance to become something. There are illegal immigrant children and the children of illegal immigrants in our schools learning about how to be American an how to be good, productive people in our society.
I'm curious though, do you think this might be an issue that America has changed? Be it from Germany or from Ireland during the potato famine, we've had droves of tired, hungry, and scared immigrants coming to this country to find a way to live. We have a statue known as the "Statue of Liberty" located at 12 Acre Island right near Ellis Island where my ancestors entered America. On the statue is an inscription that reads:

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
(P.S. Illegal means illegal)
I added the "illegal means illegal" but I took some liberties and made a few portions of the inscriptions in bold. The symbol of our peace and liberty has an inscription that reads "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses". In America, people have the freedom to decide that they do not like Americans, or the American way. In fact, in a free society with freedom of speech people should not be condemned for having impolite things to say about America. If we start to require that our immigrants adhere to "wanting to act like an American", we create a system in which people do not have the freedom to choose their opinions and their way of life. That is not the ethics on which this country was founded. In fact, this country was founded on the blood of people that were brave enough to look into the faces of the demanding authorities that would keep them from being free and commit TREASON to secure their freedom.
The Statue of Liberty is one of our nation's most beloved symbols. We put it on the jersies of our olympic teams. We travel to visit the statue. We buy little plastic statues of Lady Liberty to give to our children. The statue welcomes people to come and be free...not come and be American. This is what the rest of the world believes that our ethics are founded on.
If I were a Mexican, fleeing a country filled with dirt, drugs, beheadings, violence and rape I would be APALLED to come to America and learn that (contrary to what we claim our beliefs are) people aren't bending over backwards to be excited that I could share freedom with them.
...and then they learn that our population has become so bitter and scared after 9/11 that we're so busy worrying about our private hoards of wealth and prosperity that they're not willing to let piss-poor immigrants use their hospitals because "illegal means illegal". HOSPITALS. People are complaining about the wait times in HOSPITALS because illegal immigrant babies are sick. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US???
Maybe the American ideal doesn't deserve their love because we haven't shown them a proper example? Why should they love America? We spend so little time loving eachother...why should they want to be a part of this. The last time I saw a Mexican birthday party there were easily 50 kids in attendance. There are Mexican immigrants that know more about family and love than I've ever forgotten.
So I say...if there's a chance that even one of these "illegal immigrants" is scared, hungry, poor, and terrified of raising a child in a country like Mexico that we should take the time to deal with this CAREFULLY and consider all of our options. We should be honored that they are coming here for a chance to live a life like I, my parents, my grandparents, and my ancestors were blessed with. Yes...even if they don't want to act like the rest of us.
Please don't think I'm a jerk for what I say. I'm only saying this because I'm having an attack of conscience.

Apr. 22nd, 2010

Green Daffy


Last night while having pho we started talking about how if SB1070 in Arizona passes we should probably give some money to someone so that her and her husband can escape Arizona without risking the family being sent to jail. If SB1070 the American wife would be charged with harboring, the husband would be charged with being an illegal immigrant, and we'd have no idea what would happen to their 4 year old child.

That's when Steve said "Listen to us. We're literally talking about hiding Jews in the attic..."

...and now I present to you, Ewok Karaoke.

Ewok Karaoke from Rob Tyler on Vimeo.

Mar. 31st, 2010

Wild Seven

...and then sometimes the bad nights come all too quickly.

He saw the true face of the 20th century and chose to become a reflection, a parody of it. No one else saw the joke, that's why he was lonely. Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, doctor...I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. Fade to black.

...this about sums it up.

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